Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Irony, it Burns!

I've been trying to ignore the Democratic Primary Circus ever since I submitted my ballot earlier this spring. It is impossible to pay attention without being annoyed and disheartened.

Apparently, it is not possible to choose a candidate without being either a misogynist or a racist. If you're a fence-sitter, does that make you both? Also, "working class" means poor, which of course means that if you're not poor you're probably an elitist. Because cognitive dissonance is an integral part of so many of our religions today, it is now completely logical that a candidate can be a radical muslim while simultaneously being under the spell of a looneytunes christian minister. NAFTA is starting to look like it was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, or maybe it "accidentally" fell down some stairs.

It's all an interesting idea for a dystopian novel, until I realize that this is actually happening. Dude, I've never done drugs (even though Nancy Reagan told me not to) and this all fits perfectly into my idea of what a bad trip must be.

Just when everything seems hopeless, somebody does something clever to bring on much needed comic relief. Today's offering is courtesy of the Clinton campaign. Turn down your irony sensors, because this may actually blow them out...

Apparently unable to find a newspaper headline that fit with the little video spot they were making, it's a good guess that someone made one up and just tacked it onto the first article they could find. So as to not spoil the surprise, I would like to direct your attention to this well-written account. Please note that he does indeed link to the original so that you can verify for yourself.

Ohmygoodness you didn't see that one coming, did you? Me neither. I've spent the past 24 hours giving this entirely too much brainspace. Was it a deliberate act to remind the public of how awful Men are and how Hillary still shines forth? Was it a stupid mistake by an idiot staffer? Was it the work of a saboteur? We may never know. But I find it fascinating.

The pressure of this campaigning stuff somehow manages to cook reality into an unrecognizable sludge without actually neutralizing the bits likely to kill us. I've tried reading the instruction manual, but have yet to identify the problem. (Inferior ingredients, irregular financing, apathetic kitchen staff. Clearly this home canning stuff has a lot of elements to consider...) If we're not all dead of Mad Lemming Disease by the end of this primary season, I'll be surprised.

And now, just in time for today's West Virginia primary, I leave you with the words of the always entertaining Keith Olbermann.

Remember, if you're not feeling marginalized, you're not paying attention.

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